So you want to become successful huh?
Like those rappers you see in those music videos or those elite entrepreneurs traveling the world and making money in their sleep.
I can’t blame you.
Your need to accomplish more as a human being has been ingrained into you long before you even knew what “an entrepreneur” actually was.
And with some hard work, determination, and a good amount of stubbornness, you can very much live the life that you want.
But sadly.. most of you will NEVER achieve it.
And that is because there will come a point in your entrepreneur journey where you will just get stuck.
And you will have no idea why you are no longer getting any more progress.
Amateur entrepreneurs (around 95% of people reading this) will just cut their losses and just give up.
They’ll say things like, “I can never succeed in this,” “This will never work out,” or “man that was fun, now time to go back and get a job”
To those people I say that you’re right. And that is because that was the reality that you convinced yourself you deserved.
But for the elite entrepreneurs reading this, and I’m talking to YOU, you will know that the moment you find yourself getting stuck is the exact moment you need to take a change in your approach.
Here are the 5 reasons you keep failing and the changes you need to make to fix them.
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1) Get Rid of Your Crappy Thoughts
Your biggest enemy that keeps you stuck is your thoughts. The reason why you are not achieving the success you want is not because of external enemies but internal foes.
It’s no joke when they say that thoughts become things. I believe that 100%. Your mind is like a garden that is constantly growing weeds. These weeds are the negative thoughts of your mind trying to tell you to give up, to give in, or that you are undeserving.
If you are not trying to actively pull these weeds out, you will suffer the consequences.
“The shark that does not swim, drowns.” – Russian Proverb
I remember when I first got into entrepreneurship how hard things were. I didn’t believe in myself, I was told to give up by my friends and even my family, and my mind was drowning with all these negative thoughts on what my life would look like if I just ended up failing.
There were days that I was just so consumed with negative thoughts about the uncertainty of my financial future that I would take frequent naps just to escape them.
The sucky part was every single time I woke back up. There it was. My negative thoughts sitting on a platter in front of me like a steamy piece of shit.
The crazy part was..
I had no idea what these thoughts even were.
All I could feel was the negative feeling and the crushing weight of something that I didn’t even understand. And it was that feeling that made me stuck and prevented me from taking any action.
Ultimately, causing me to fail over and over again.
One day, I decided to do a little experiment.
You know how you are reading this sentence right now and as you are reading it you hear a voice inside your head?
Yeah that one.
Well that same voice exists all the time regardless if you are aware of it or not.
Sometimes it can be loud and useful like when you read this sentence. Other times it can be silent and deadly like when you are facing a problem in your business.
When you are suffering from a problem that you don’t know how to fix, it is these small negative whispers in the back of your mind that are trying to convince you to give up long before you have even tried.
But guess what? This voice is not your voice.
Woahhh.
Crazy right?
So what I did was for the next 24 hours, I monitored that little whisper.
Whenever I had idled time, I tried hearing in on what that little whisper would say like how you would hear the words in your head when you read.
And whenever I caught that little whisper saying things like “this is hard” or “I can’t do this” I made that voice squeaky and shaky with my mind to the point where the whisper no longer sounded like my voice but rather the voice of a cartoon character.
At that point, I ended up just laughing at it and not taking those negative thoughts seriously.
This is called Neuro Linguistic Programing and I learned it from Tony Robbins.
You cannot create a positive life with negative thoughts. So when those negative thoughts come up, you need to attack it right away with this exercise.
2) Get Rid of Those Crappy Habits
How the hell can you build a successful business if you never put any time into it?
It’s impossible.
What you need to review right away the moment you find yourself getting stuck and wondering why you are failing are your daily habits.
What are you doing on a daily basis that is increasing your bottom line?
A.K.A. What are the habits that you are doing that actually make you money?
Does worrying about competition make you money?
No.
Does spending hours trying to create the perfect logo make you money?
No.
The biggest problem with most of you is your habits aren’t optimized for the most important aspect of your business out there: your results.
So how can you make this happen?
Well the first thing you can do is by modeling your habits after someone that has the same results you want.
If a human being is living the life you want to live, the only difference between you and them is your daily habits.
What is that person doing on a daily basis that you aren’t doing?
FIND OUT ASAP.
And start implementing them into your daily rituals.
3) Say Goodbye to Your Family Members (for the time being)
I know this sounds heartless. But it is the truth. Most of the times what’s holding you back isn’t your competition. Most of the time it’s the people that you love.
When I was working day and night on my business, my mom would tell me not to work as hard. Sometimes she would even tell me to just go and get a stable job instead of focusing on this internet thing (even when the internet thing was already paying the bills).
Why the hell would she tell me to do that?
Does she not want me to succeed?
Does she not want me to help provide for the family?
No. Its none of those.
The reason why she would do that is because she loves me. And she doesn’t want to see her child get hurt when I don’t get to accomplish my dreams.
Right now you have that person in your life. It could be your wife or your husband, your girlfriend or your boyfriend, your brother or your sister or even your best friend.
They don’t want you to succeed.
Not because they hate you. But because they love you too much to see you get hurt.
But guess what?
This is entrepreneurship baby. There is no “not getting hurt”
Getting hurt is all part of the game because that’s how you grow.
Do you think people go to the gym to not get hurt?
If you are a serious fitness fanatic like I am, you enjoy the pain because that is the only way you know you are getting stronger.
You want to fail.
Because that is the only way you know how to get better.
Business is the same. And you will never grow if the person that cares about you the most is holding you back from experiencing the pain and failure for yourself.
Now I am not telling you to tell your loved one to screw off. All I am saying is when it comes to building your business. Find time away from them so that you can have that 100% focus you need on your goals.
And if you are young, then now is the time to be selfish and to focus 110% on your goals. Your loved ones will understand once you make it.
What I did is I ended up taking all my stuff and moved to Thailand so that I was away from all my loved ones. Not because I hate them but because I love them so much that I want to be able to succeed faster. And for that I need all my focus with no distractions from loved ones telling me to “take it easy.”
I know it seems like backwards thinking, but ultimately I am doing this for them. So that I can spend more time, energy and attention on them when I come back.
My biggest fear as an entrepreneur is to become one of those dads with the bluetooth piece in his ear, always talking on the phone, and completely neglecting his family.
When that time for me comes, I want to have the ability to completely unplug and not focus on anything business related so that I can really enjoy the time spent with the people I care about.
And for that to happen, it’s going to take some initial sacrifice.
4) Say Goodbye to Your Crappy Friends (forever)
Before I begin, let me clarify this. You have two types of friends.
The first type are the ones that wants you to give up because they are afraid to see you hurt. Those friends are categorized as your family and you should refer to point number 3 on how to deal with them.
Then you have the second type of friends. The ones that want to see you fail. Why? Because when you succeed it is a constant reminder to themselves that they didn’t have the courage like you did to make the change.
When you succeed, these people don’t want to feel like shit knowing that both of you started at the same place.
So what they’ll do is slowly, and most of the time unconsciously, sabotage your way to success.
They’ll throw small little pebbles at you telling you that it is not worth it or that you’ve changed. Most of the time it’s just them projecting their anger for their own inadequacies.
But here is the thing.
YOU HAVE TO CHANGE.
If you want something different in life you need to do something different. And to do something different is IMPOSSIBLE when you are still staying the same.
ADAPT OR DIE.
That is the mentality of an elite entrepreneur. And if your “friend” doesn’t want to adapt with you then they will suffer the consequences.
What is important is distinguishing which of the two types of friends each person in your life are.
Keep the friends that are like family members in your mind as you hustle and grind. Knowing that your hard work will pay off and you will have all the time in the world to hang out and bond with them AFTER you become successful.
And the other friends? The fake friends?
Just stop seeing them.
You don’t have to tell them to screw off. You don’t have to be angry at them. Just simply stop spending time with them.
The older you get the more that you realize that you want to surround yourself around people that make you better. People that inspire you. People that share the same dreams as you.
Not people that want to hurt you.
That’s what I did.
There was a time where I thought that the friends that I had in highschool or college were friends that I would have forever.
And even though I still do have some awesome friendships from that time period in my life, many of them did not see eye to eye with my goals and behind my back they sabotaged against my success without me knowing it.
The rude comments, the lack of support, the rolling of their eyes
All of it making you feel guilty for wanting success.
When I was feeling like a failure in business, I realized it was the negative emotions I was getting from these friendships that was halting any progress.
Right now you have these friends in your life. As much as they say they want what’s best for you, they really don’t want you to become successful.
When you find out who the fake friends really are, don’t yell at them, don’t fight them, don’t put any more energy into them. Just simply disappear and start focusing on what you need to focus on.
Any more energy or thought you put into them is being taken away from what really matters. And that is putting all your focus on your business and pushing through your failures.
5) Find Mentors
So there I was, trying to fit this square peg in this round hole (figuratively) wondering why it was never working. That is because I didn’t realize that square pegs don’t fit in round holes.
That is the same way we view our actions. Most of the time we are doing the same things on a daily basis, and it are these same actions that are the reason why we keep on failing.
You’re wondering why you’re stuck?
Your current actions do not equal the results you want.
The only way to know what actions to take are by learning from someone who is further along the journey as you.
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. “ – Steve Jobs
And instead of waiting to connect the dots for yourself..
Finding a mentor that has all their dots already connected can be the fastest way to get to where you want to go in life.
The thing about the mentors that you will meet is they’ve been where you are before. They have insight through experience on why it is not working out for you because they have been through the exact same situation.
Having that mentor can tell you exactly where you are going wrong. And having a mentor can speed up your learning curb.
So how can you find a mentor?
What I did to find mine was I read their books, I bought their courses, and I attended their live seminars. Whatever it took, I did my best to get inside their heads and to try and understand how they think.
Because I knew if I could find out where our thoughts and habits differed, that is all I needed to start getting similar results.
Question: What thoughts and habits do you need to adapt to start living the life that you want? Comment below and let me know!
Until next time.
Your fellow freedom fighter,
-Mike Vestil
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